Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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