Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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