my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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