beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
