Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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