i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
