She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
