Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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