YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
