I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
