I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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