ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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