Don't you send me to vm
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
