oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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