Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
