hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
