Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I skipped work to stalk him.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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