Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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