Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
