Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
