It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
