someone threw a dead crab at me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
