Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
