I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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