How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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