bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
