Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
