i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
...so i touched it.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
These tits shall not be calmed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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