I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Terrible idea I love it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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