Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
