it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
