Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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