just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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