but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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