I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
