like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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