i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
