So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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