He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
