When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
