I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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