Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
