my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
