I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
