She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
