I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
