Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
