i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
