i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
