you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
