Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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