how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
