she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
