Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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