just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
is it fun? or sober?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
