Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
