We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
