do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
