this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
