Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
