Who did Billy Mays play for?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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