Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
