he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
