You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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