Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
